So many of my friends are posting about how this is the last work day of 2017 for them. I love how some of them are posting how they're going to kick butt today and make it a great day at the office. For some, it isn't the last work day of the year but for all of us, it's the end of the year winding down in a hurry. As I look towards 2018, I wanted to take a few minutes and write down some goals for the coming year. I don't really do resolutions but 2017 was such a big year for us that I want to carry that momentum into the new year.

I have different goals for different areas of my world, so let's get started with a breakdown:

House:
1. Complete the downsizing and organizing of the downstairs.
2. Complete the downsizing and organizing of the landing.
3. Complete the downsizing, cleaning, and organizing of my bedroom.

Outside:
1. Clean and organize the barn.
2. Tidy up back deck.
3. Start preparing things for moving (packing up pots, etc)

Family:
1. Attend more things as a family.
2. Work towards both boys graduations.
3. Spend one on one time with both boys.

Writing:
1. Complete 2 full novels.
2. Set up a mailing list and have 1,000 subscribers.
3. Spend 1-2 hours each week learning things to help improve as an indie writer.

Personal:
1. Post on Welcoming Weight Loss at least 2x per month.
2. Work on plans for the "big move".
3. Be brave - this one isn't measurable but I know that there will be bad brain days and this goal is more about survival than about improvement.

So, there we go. I think all of these are attainable. I just need to find the focus that sometimes alludes me. I look at that writing goal list and I realize that I have a goal that I'm afraid to post. That tells me that it's a goal that's important to me and that's a good reason to get it added to the list. So...not so top secret writing goal #4: Make enough money from writing to replace the small amount of child support that I receive each month because it's going to be going away.

If you want to make your own goal list but don't know where to start, I want to recommend this great podcast/blog post done by Russell Nohelty. He doesn't know it, but he's kind of my hero when it comes to these things. Make sure you check out his site and his books.

Time for me to get to work!



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Three posts in one week! We're all going to get spoiled if I keep this up! It's been a while since I posted here about the house and what it's been like so I decided that it might be time to give y'all a bit of an update.

I'm not going to lie. I haven't done much over the past couple of weeks. I had hopes of a massive kitchen clean up over the boys' spring break, but life just plain got in the way. Their grandparents were in town (at their dad's house) and then I went out of town for the convention at the end of that week. In the middle, it was just plain busy. Then, when I got back from the convention, I had a bit of an emotional crash that took a bit to recover from.

That all sounds super negative, doesn't it? I promise that I'm not writing this post to bring you all down because absolutely nothing got done. Things have, just slower than I had hoped. Ben went into the kitchen one day and just did 5 minutes of tidying up. Both boys made a conscious effort to make sure that trash went into the trash and that things got put away. I've been incredibly proud of them for how they've jumped on board and are working with me to keep things going.

As for me? Well, I have a tiny bit of news. Tomorrow we have a plumber coming to look at the kitchen drain. It hasn't drained properly at all for over 2 years and not at all for the past 6 months or so. Some of you may recall that I was doing dishes in my bathtub. Then, the hot water stopped working a few months ago. I've been snagging showers at the community center and we've gone to all paper products for eating. It's also meant that I haven't been able to properly cook because I couldn't do dishes afterwards. It's been rough on all of us, but there hasn't been anything that we could really do about it due to finances and the state that the house was in.

Well, two days ago, Justin called and found a plumber who could come out to the house tomorrow. For me, that meant that the living room, kitchen, and laundry room had to be in good enough states
that the plumber could come in and access anything that he needed to and that I wouldn't have a complete meltdown over having him in the house. I'll admit it. I looked around and had a minor panic attack. Everywhere I looked, I saw something that needed to be done. The living room needed cleaning, the laundry room needed to be swept and to have the litter boxes changed and on and on and on the list went in my head.

But, guess what! It's just before 2pm the day before the plumber will be here (between 8 and 10am) and I'm relaxed on my couch, a candle lit, and Deadliest Catch running off the dvr. Why? Because I walked into the kitchen and in 5 minutes had the left side sink cleared and the new bookshelf box moved out of the way. I walked into the living room and in 20 minutes had everything tidied up and the floor swept. I walked into the laundry room and in 15 minutes or so had the floor swept, the litter boxes changed, and any/all litter mess cleaned up. I even cracked open the window in there and lit a candle to help with that icky cat litter smell that happens sometimes.

Did you do the math? In less than an hour, I had those three rooms at a level that I don't care if he walks into them. Sure, the dining alcove is still a disaster and we haven't touched the office/studio.
Oh well. I will. This is a journey..and each and every step counts. Each and every step is a step towards reclaiming this house, reclaiming my life and making a better world for myself and my boys. The best part? I've proven to myself that the work I started 4 months ago has been mostly maintained. I didn't backslide to a point where I wasn't 15-20 minutes from clean.

Earlier today I told a friend that I was ashamed to say that I hadn't been properly cooking for my family because of how I'd let the house get. I realize now that I was looking at things from my as usual skewed bipolar lens... Even when things are at their worst, nobody went hungry around here. It may not have been the healthiest food, but I made sure there was food and even if it was just throwing it on a cookie sheet, I "cooked". Two days ago, I looked around this living room and felt horrible about the way it looked. Turns out that it really wasn't all that bad. I need to remember the hours that I've put in and the changes that I've made. I'm happy to report that I'm doing okay and to give you a little sneak peek at my upcoming house plans...

Upcoming Goals:
1. Finish the dining alcove
2. Build/get the new bookshelf into place
3. Put the old bookshelf out by the curb for trash (unless someone snags it)
4. Clear the front porch & paint it
5. Repaint the front porch benches
6. Mow/trim the lawn and pick up any brush/trash that has arrived during the winter (this weekend!)
7. Repaint the tire planters
8. Refill the tire planters
9. Reclaim one flower bed
10. Start my seeds
11. Get a start on the "wall" aka the office/studio

Those are my goals for between now and the start of June. Will they all get done? Maybe, maybe not but we'll be doing them as we're able and before you know it, I'll have some new pictures to share with everyone! Keep your fingers crossed that the plumber can get the work done for $300 because that's the budget! If so, dishes will be on the agenda for this weekend too!



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Marie Kondo’s unique KonMari Method of tidying up is nothing short of life-changing—and her first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, has become a worldwide sensation. In Spark Joy, Kondo presents an in-depth, illustrated manual on how to declutter and organize specific items throughout the house, from kitchen and bathroom items to work-related papers and hobby collections. User-friendly line drawings illustrate Kondo’s patented folding method as it applies to shirts, pants, socks, and jackets, as well as images of properly organized drawers, closets, and cabinets. This book is perfect for anyone who wants a home—and life—that sparks joy.

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If you read my post Reclaiming Me, you'll know that one of the things that I'm working on as part of reclaiming me and my life is reclaiming my house. So, it should be no surprise that when this book became available for review, my curiosity got the better of me. I'm a pretty good organizer but nobody is perfect and new ideas are always welcome!

Let me start out by saying that if you haven't read the first book, you may have difficulty with this one. Over all though, I found this one to be handy. I really love her theme of keeping things that only bring you joy. That's one of the things that I've talked to others about and something I truly believe in. Your home should be your sanctuary and if it's filled with things that make you unhappy then you won't be able to relax in it. This book is more in-depth and while it may seem repetitive at times, it does give a lot of great information. Granted, if you're like me, you won't consider your belongings to have human emotions and such, but if you can look past that, there's a lot of good information to be found.



I received a copy of this book for the purpose of this review. All thoughts, comments, and opinions are my own.

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Early after being diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and all the rest of the mess, I said that I would be as transparent as possible with things. One of the things that I deal with is a combination of ocd and hoarding tendencies. What does that mean? When I get really low, I surround myself with things. I'm poor as all get out so I'm not really buying much, but I also don't get rid of things. I just sit things down and leave them there. I build a protective nest/wall around myself. Then, the ocd kicks in and my brain says if you can't make it perfect right now...with every tiny project finished, you shouldn't even bother. The lower I get, the worse it gets and it doesn't take long before the house becomes a representation of the chaos that's in my head.

As if that's not bad enough, this starts a vicious cycle because as the mess builds, my mood sinks further and further because the voices in my head pipe up telling me how useless I am, what an awful mother I am, etc for letting it get this way to begin with. My mood drops, the mess grows and I get stuck in this awful cycle that feels impossible to break.

It isn't impossible though. It takes a lot ...a lot of emotional energy, a lot of physical energy, a lot of deep breathes and a lot of support... but it isn't impossible to break the cycle. It took every bit of brave that I had, but I posted before photos of my living room to a private group on Facebook. The support that I've received has kept me going on days when I just want to hide. Only a couple of people outside of that group know how I've spent my time offline. I want to share it now with all of you. Maybe it will give hope to someone who is stuck in that same cycle. I know that I'm not alone in it. When I wake up and feel like I'm useless and can't do anything, I look at these pictures and can see that it's just not true. Sometimes there's no better reminder than physical proof.

Roger got to the door first and all I heard was "Holy shit, mom...are you some kind of wizard?" Ben got to the door and his response was "Oh my god, mom...this is amazing!" They were proud of me and seeing Roger sprawled on the floor doing homework pretty much made my weekend. That helped fuel me to work on the bathroom this week...


It's only been 2 days in there, but progress is happening. This isn't all of the bathroom in photos, but it is the areas that I've worked on so far. I'll take more tomorrow to cover the rest of the room..and maybe I'll continue to share them here.

Things have been wiped down, emptied out, organized, purged, and put back. I have an entire grocery bag full of extra bathroom things that I'll be donating to the Homeless Angels once I also collect up outgrown clothing and spare blankets to go with it.

Today was a very emotional day for some reason and I told myself that it was okay to not do anything and to just have a self love kind of day. Instead, I found myself changing over the laundry..folding the dry, hanging the wet (my dryer died), and putting in another load to wash. I told myself that was enough..then when I went into the kitchen or the bathroom, I found myself doing a bit of tidying. I needed a tote for part of the bathroom project..and realized I had one in the laundry room full of fabric I would probably never use. So, I grabbed it..after all, it's not doing much and I could relax on the couch while doing it. Three totes later, I'd purged 3 trash bags full of fabric (already posted and picked up by someone who lives locally) and only kept 1 grocery bag with some crafting things and fabric in it.

This whole thing is important. As I reclaim this house, I'm reclaiming myself and I'm reclaiming my belief that I have control in my world. I'm showing myself that I can do things. I don't have to be stuck. There will be good days and bad days, but like I said before...I'm still here and I'm still fighting...



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It's actually been close to seven weeks since my birthday, but for one reason or another...or one excuse or another, I never sat down to write this post. Now, I am..it's time to recap, recover and roll out the goals for the coming year.

I'm happy to say that this past year brought no physical deaths to my doorstep. Sadly, it did bring the deaths of some friendships. As life changes, it seems that sometimes people do too. People move on and I'm learning to deal with the aftermath of that. I won't say it's been easy, but it's not knocked me down as hard as it may have in the past.

There have been good things, as well. Both of my boys are happy and healthy. Ben is up in high school now and though he's struggling with the amount of work and how not to become overwhelmed, he's doing well. He was even the girls' swim team manager, which I know that he loved. Roger is busy being Roger. He's a straight A student, was on the football team and is now doing basketball. Did I mention he's in band and jazz band, as well? As a mom, I do a lot of running around these days. While it can be exhausting, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

One of the not so great things that has happened has happened with me. I've really struggled with the bipolar side of things over the past year or so. I'm on new medication now so I'm really hoping that it helps. While I've come to terms that this is something I will always have to deal with, I haven't done so well in setting up routines and such to help keep the house functional. If I'm honest, the house is in pretty rotten shape right now. It's not as bad as it has been, but it needs to be a lot better.

Which brings us to the list...This year's goals:

Outside of the House:
1. Clear out all of the flower beds - They're overgrown and some even have trees in them!
2. Finish spray painting the tires and get new roses planted in them.
3. Clear the front porch and make it look inviting.
4. Paint the front door - It's time to give this house some character.
5. Finish clearing the back deck.
6. Get the front porch roof repaired/replaced. - This is a job for the owners and may include the entire roof.
7. Create a third composter for all of the after garden soil.
8. Complete barn re-organization.
9. Clear out any trash that has blown/been dragged under the front porch.
10. Get cable re-hooked up to the barn.
11. Clear out pile of rubble from in front of barn.

Inside of the House:
1. Replace living room flooring.
2. Complete wall redecorating (clean, new shelving, organizing, purging)
3. Complete living room redecorating (clean, paint, organizing, purging)
4. Get everything hung up in boys' room.
5. Complete master bedroom redecorating (clean, paint, organizing, purging, light repaired)
6. Purge until we're only surrounded by the things we need and the things we love.
7. Get dryer repaired - owner job
8. Get water repaired - owner job
9. Get heating repaired - owner job
10. Get living room ceiling repaired - owner job
11. Maintain what I've already accomplished.

In Life:
1. Continue to build up the websites, this one and Geek-o-Rama
2. Focus on true friendships ...quality over quantity
3. Travel
4. Spend as much time with the boys, doing things we love.
5. Learn Irish (again) on my own.
6. Take time for me.
7. Take care of me - mental health and physical health
8. Work on finding more writing and editing jobs.
9. Remember what's really important in life.
10. Build routines to help manage life.
11. Be someone that I can be proud of, no matter what others may think.

Whew..that's some list but instead of being overwhelmed or intimidated, I'm excited to see it down in writing. Now, to pick an area and get to work!



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