It's Wednesday and I'm back at Starbucks. The music is especially weird today but loud still. There's also road construction outside and no peach juice. All of this, but I'm still in an okay sort of mood. The problem is that I have no idea what to write about this week. Not much has changed in the past week. Ben and I are trying to adjust to his new school schedule. There's a lot to it this semester. Every single one of his classes is like a part time job, I swear. Luckily, two of them are due on Sundays. Biology is due on Thursdays so we're trying to start working on that on the Friday before. It's only week 2 and there was a holiday so we'll see how it works out.

Ben,

I took this picture of you only a few short months ago and yet to me, you look so little like this. You've grown so much since then. You're no longer a boy, but a young man and that shows every time I look at you.

I wanted to be there today. I wanted to be the one to drop you off at school and make sure that everything was okay. For reasons outside of your control, I couldn't be, but please know that I so badly wanted to be.

I know that you were nervous about going to the high school. It's a bigger building and you were worried you wouldn't know where to go and that the classes would be so much harder than the ones in middle school. I don't worry though because you have always been my fighter. You may have been born early and born small, but you were born a fighter. You have never given up. You continue to grow stronger every day. You're no longer my tiny 5 pound 6 ounce baby boy. You're growing so tall and now that you're working out, you're growing so much stronger.

It's more than physical strength though. You have an inner strength that puts my own to shame. Every step of your life it has been you that has pushed yourself to new and harder things. When you mastered walking, it was you that took on climbing stairs. When you've struggled with something, it's been you who has said, "Mom, will you help me with this?" To say I'm proud of you is an understatement.

I know you worry about the classes, but I see that glimmer of excitement that comes whenever we have a new subject to tackle. You may not feel smart, but you are far smarter than you think. It's that inner strength that keeps pushing you to learn more and to improve every single marking period and in some ways, that's far better than having things come easily. You already know what it means to have to work for things and that will serve you well in life.

Ben, right now, you may feel like a little fish in a rather large pond, but remember that fish rarely swim alone. You have so many that love and support you. There's me, your dad, Megan, Coach, your brother and others who are right there with you every step of the way. Your classmates are there too and I bet they're just as nervous today as you are but you've always looked out for each other and that isn't going to change. There are the girls on the swim team who will help you if you get lost. There's Mr Holk who you knew way back in elementary school. You're not alone and you never will be.

You're growing up so fast and before I know it, it's going to be your first day of college. I hope that you take this time to truly enjoy what life has to offer. I am so proud of you. You've gone from being my tiny baby to being a young man, manager of the swim team, athlete and so much more. You have amazing things waiting for you, but they'll wait because every day is your day. Shine in it.

Love,
Mom





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I soooo meant to post this last night and I have no idea what happened that I didn't do it. Yesterday was a good day around here. I got more cleaning done in the kitchen and started tackling the laundry monster that has been threatening to take over our house. It makes me smile and feel good inside to see things coming together and to actually accomplish things.

The big thing that I'm going to need to accomplish has started arriving. What is it? My grad school application. The department portion landed in my mailbox yesterday and it has me a little bit freaked out. I have no idea who to ask to write these recommendation letters. Ok, actually, I have ideas on who to have write them but I have to track down their contact information plus hope and pray that they remember me well enough to do these. I guess I'll know soon enough. I'm putting contacting them down on next week's to do list. At the same time as doing that, I'll need to be pulling transcripts from various schools. I need to call WMU again to find out if I should have everyone send everything to me and I'll send it all in one big packet or if it's better for everything to come directly to them. There is so much to this whole going back to school thing and honestly, it's freaking me out just a little bit. Well, little bits is how it's going to get done. They're far less overwhelming than looking at the whole thing.

But, for now, I have a washing machine that's waiting to be started and more cleaning/organizing/purging to be done!

I know! It's Monday but I want to get this up and posted because it distracts me from dealing with meltdown little boys. I know they're melting down because it's so hot but sheesh, it's hard to stay patient sometimes! It does make me proud though when they stop and realize all on their own that their behavior just isn't cool.

So, what are we tackling in Roetsville this fine, hot Tuesday? Well, since I've decided that it's time for me to go back to school, I'm going to attempt to get our printer up and running. If I manage it, I'm going to print out the application forms that I need. I'm also going to try to figure out who I can ask to write those pesky letters of references. I didn't form any tight bonds with any of my UB instructors, so it might be difficult. I do have a few ideas though.

This is our last week before school starts and once their schedule/routines change, mine will be too. I'm getting back into crafting more and there's always lots to do around the house! Of course, with a hesitant plan to move in the next 4-10 months, there's tons more to do!

Ugh! I'm still not better! Ok, I'm better, but I'm not well. I just feel totally drained and as of last night, I was still running a low grade fever. For someone who planned on getting so much done this week, this is totally frustrating. It's 1:13 in the afternoon and I really want a nap. For me today, I might take a nap. We'll see.

But, my Time for Me thing is totally a mom thing. I'm going to brag on my children. Last Monday (November 2nd) was parent-teacher conferences at their school. This is the first time I've been able to attend in the past 2 years and I was glad to be able to do it. We got to the school a few minutes early and tracked down the book fair. The boys both enjoy reading and I thought it would be a good reward for them if they each got a new book. Just before Roger's scheduled meeting, we headed down the hall to his classroom. Peter, Donna and the boys were already there and Peter didn't look happy to see us at all, but too bad. I'm mom too.

So, Roger's meeting - Roger is in 3rd grade now and has Mr. Willard as his teacher. We love Mr. Willard. He's funny and engaging and clearly loves to teach and yet nobody gets away with anything in his classroom. His students are the kind that come back year after year and keep in touch. He teases Roger saying Oh no, it's time for the bad meeting..or saying he's a horrible..oh wait, great kid. Roger had all A's and 1 B+. He was 2% away from Principal's list as he repeatedly has told me. He's doing great in Science and Social Studies where a lot of other kids are struggling. He's one of the few kids who hasn't gotten in trouble and Mr. Willard said he was a model for the other kids in the classroom. The whole meeting lasted 5 minutes because there were no concerns!

Ben's Meeting - Ben is in 4th grade and has Mrs. Stephens as the teacher. She seems nice but more formal. It could be because in the 4th grade, they start preparing the kids for middle school. Ben had something like 4 A's, a B and only one C. I'm so excited for him. Up until now he's really been a C average student and to see him really working and pulling higher grades thrills me. We're never quite sure where his capabilities lie and he's showing us just what he can do. His behavior is good and people love him.

I'm so proud of both of my boys and reliving those moments and how proud I am of them has put a huge smile on my face. What are you going to do to put a huge smile on your face today?