Last week, I was early. This week, I'm late. I do have a good reason though. Yesterday, I had to go to the dentist to have my permanent crown put on and my jaw was not as appreciative to have it done as my mind was. I do have pictures though. I do. I do.

I did it, folks. I applied to graduate school. I actually mailed out the paperwork about 10 days ago, which means I only have about 20 more days to go until I find out if they accepted me or not. Surprisingly, I'm not at all stressed out about what might happen. I know that before I posted about how afraid I was. In fact, I want to thank those of you who left me encouraging comments. It helped a lot. At this point, while I'd be thrilled if they said yes, I'm ok if they say no. It just means that something better is out there for me and maybe I'm not meant to do this right now. I guess we'll know in 20 days or so, huh? Until then, here are my photos for Shapes for this week.



The deadline was January 15th and this shows that they received it on January 11th. So, what pictures have you taken this week and have you shared them over at Sunday Shutterbugs yet?


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So, that's the question. Well, really the question is, Should I go to grad school? I think most people would say yes. I know that I should. Right now, I have an expensive piece of paper for a bachelor's degree. While it looks really nice, it's not going to get me a job or help to provide for my children. So, yes, I should go to grad school.

Will I? Well, that depends on two things. One, will I actually write out the essay and then mail the packet in? Two, if I do those things, will they say yes?  Those are the questions. I don't have the answers.

Ok, I know the answer to the first one. Yes, I will. I'm going to do it. I'm going to sit down over this weekend and write it. Why this weekend? Because it has to be in their hands by the 15th. Yes, I have massively procrastinated on this. Why? Well, that's the entire point of this post.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I do this and they say no, that I will take the rejection personally and it will send me spiraling. Of course, if they say no, I also have no idea what I'm going to do. I need to go back to school and finish this degree so that I can get a job that allows me to take care of my boys. I also need to go back and get an assistantship to help pay the bills. There are so many things that need to be done that haven't been done because the money just isn't there. We're living one "emergency" to the next right now and all of the should get dones aren't getting done.

Then, there's the other side of the coin. What happens if I do this and they say yes? This bring up a whole other set of fears. Let's see, there's the fear that I just won't be able to do the work. Yes, I have a BA in Psychology but what if I somehow just learned it to pass the tests? What if I don't really know it? I had someone ask me a psych 101 question a few weeks ago and I had to look up answers for it. That's scary. I ought to be able to recite that stuff in my sleep. Plus, there's the fear of having to drive almost an hour every day to campus and that's assuming I find a house in Hastings. If I don't, I could be driving who knows how far. Ugh!

You see, I've gotten myself into a perfect tizzy over this and really, it's just silly. If they turn me down, there's always next year to reapply or maybe it will be for a good reason, like I won't be living close enough this year.  If they say yes, then good. I can do this. I'm a smart woman and I can learn. My brain may not be 22 anymore but it's not 102 either. I can learn and I'm good with people. I would make a good therapist. I know that I would.

So, I'm going to ask all of you for some help. If you read this post and you see me online, ask me if I've written that essay yet. Post comments here, reminding me to get it done. I'm asking for your support and encouragement. I know you won't let me down.


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I soooo meant to post this last night and I have no idea what happened that I didn't do it. Yesterday was a good day around here. I got more cleaning done in the kitchen and started tackling the laundry monster that has been threatening to take over our house. It makes me smile and feel good inside to see things coming together and to actually accomplish things.

The big thing that I'm going to need to accomplish has started arriving. What is it? My grad school application. The department portion landed in my mailbox yesterday and it has me a little bit freaked out. I have no idea who to ask to write these recommendation letters. Ok, actually, I have ideas on who to have write them but I have to track down their contact information plus hope and pray that they remember me well enough to do these. I guess I'll know soon enough. I'm putting contacting them down on next week's to do list. At the same time as doing that, I'll need to be pulling transcripts from various schools. I need to call WMU again to find out if I should have everyone send everything to me and I'll send it all in one big packet or if it's better for everything to come directly to them. There is so much to this whole going back to school thing and honestly, it's freaking me out just a little bit. Well, little bits is how it's going to get done. They're far less overwhelming than looking at the whole thing.

But, for now, I have a washing machine that's waiting to be started and more cleaning/organizing/purging to be done!