As some of you may know, I've been down and out with horrible, rotten allergies for the past two weeks. I could live with the congestion, but man, the pain is just too much. So what's a girl to do? She hauls herself off to urgent care in the hopes that they can give her something to make it feel at least a little bit better. That's what I did...and that's where this post begins.

Since I had to go grocery shopping anyway, I decided to go to the urgent care that's over near where I wanted to shop. I hadn't been there before and so I was a little bit surprised when they had me step on the scale in addition to all the usual tests. The number I saw there terrified me. I had suspected that I had been putting on weight again, but not nearly as much as that number showed. I am now at the highest weight I have ever been at. Then, when she took my blood pressure and that was also high, something just shifted inside of me. I have to do something. If I don't, I'm going to die. That may sound dramatic, but it really isn't. At the weight I'm at, my body has to work harder at every single thing it does. This puts wear and tear on everything...my heart, my lungs, my joints...and those things can wear out completely.

My doctor warned me back in August about my weight and my blood pressure. She wasn't particularly kind about it and it made me defensive.  This time, nobody said a word. They just showed me the numbers when they came up. Then, I spent a week thinking about those numbers and what they mean to me. Those numbers are the reason that I have trouble climbing up or down stairs. They're the reason I won't volunteer to chaperone trips with the boys. They're the reason that I have some of the health problems that I do.

The numbers scared me, but they got me thinking and for that, I'm thankful. For too long, I've let pride get in the way of me getting help in this area. I've never had a healthy relationship with food. Growing up, food was a sanctuary of sorts. My grandmother used food as a way to show us that she loved us. I never walked into that house without an immediate offer of being fed being made. As I grew older, food became either a way to fill the holes in my emotional world or a control object. Soon I hope to write an entire post regarding my relationship with food. This isn't that post.

This post is about the decision that I've made. Twice now, my doctor has given me a referral to the Sparrow Hospital Weight Management Clinic. Twice, I let get pride get in the way. I told myself that I've lost weight before and that it's not rocket science. I can do this alone. The truth is that I can't do this alone. When I'm doing it alongside someone, I do okay. When I have that accountability. The problem with that comes along when the other person meets their goal or they don't take the time/make the effort to be my cheerleader. When that happens, it's easy to make excuses and let things slide.

It's time to stop the cycle. It's time to get the help that I need to understand what it is that I need to do. If what that is equals therapy, so be it. If what that is means surgery to help my body start helping itself again, so be it. So, I made the courageous decision to attend a meeting next week at the weight management clinic. It's just an introduction to what they do there so I can see if it's the right fit. I suspect that so long as insurance covers it, I'll be going there on a far more regular basis and finding my way to healthy again. After all, I want to be able to ride roller coasters with my boys, to travel comfortably on trips, and most importantly to live a long, long life where I watch all my dreams and hard work turn into something amazing.

I've also made the decision to keep this off of social media for the time being. I'll be posting about it here and over on Welcoming Weight Loss as things happen and I treasure any support that I get, but this is a private decision and that on some level, I need to do for me on my own.




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Get the recipes everyone is talking about in the debut cookbook from the wildly popular blog Skinnytaste

Gina Homolka is America’s most trusted home cook when it comes to easy, flavorful recipes that are miraculously low-calorie and made from all-natural, easy-to-find ingredients. Her blog, Skinnytaste is the number one go-to site for slimmed down recipes that you’d swear are anything but. It only takes one look to see why people go crazy for Gina’s food: cheesy, creamy Fettuccini Alfredo with Chicken and Broccoli with only 420 calories per serving, breakfast dishes like Make-Ahead Western Omelet "Muffins" that truly fill you up until lunchtime, and sweets such as Double Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookies that are low in sugar and butter-free but still totally indulgent.

The Skinnytaste Cookbook features 150 amazing recipes: 125 all-new dishes and 25 must-have favorites. As a busy mother of two, Gina started Skinnytaste when she wanted to lose a few pounds herself. She turned to Weight Watchers for help and liked the program but struggled to find enough tempting recipes to help her stay on track. Instead, she started “skinny-fying” her favorite meals so that she could eat happily while losing weight.

With 100 stunning photographs and detailed nutritional information for every recipe, The Skinnytaste Cookbook is an incredible resource of fulfilling, joy-inducing meals that every home cook will love.

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As part of my "Make Me Better" campaign, I'm about to embark on a major weight loss journey. As part of that, I've been looking for cookbooks that make healthier cooking options feel accessible. So, when this book came along, the cover copy sold me. On top of that, there's the cover itself. If the cover of this book alone doesn't draw you in, I don't know what to say. While I've never had grits that I enjoyed, this picture alone makes me willing to try them just one more time. I am thrilled to say that the book lives up to that cover. The photos inside will have you drooling and any cookbook that my fourteen year old going, "Oooh...we should make that one." is a winner in my world. The recipes are easy to follow and I didn't see any ingredients that can't be found at pretty much any local supermarket. I can't wait until we get into the kitchen to try out more yummy recipes!




I received a copy of this book for the purpose of this review.  All thoughts, comments and opinions are my own.
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During his more than thirty years as a vascular surgeon, Richard Furman literally held clogged arteries and diseased hearts in his hands and wondered why the person lying on the table hadn't been more careful. Heart disease is the number one killer of men and women in America, and in most cases it is completely preventable. So why are we slowly destroying our bodies and killing ourselves? And what can we do to turn it around?

The good news is, simple, sustainable lifestyle changes can mean the difference between health and infirmity, between life and death. Putting his three decades of experience and education to work, Dr. Furman gives readers the strategies they need to live not just longer, but "younger." This essential resource to health helps readers :
-achieve and maintain their ideal weight
-reduce their risk for life-threatening diseases
-make exercise a natural part of their lives
-learn what foods to eat and what foods to avoid

It even shows how following the plan can not only eliminate heart disease, but also keep people safe from various cancers, dementia, diabetes, stroke, erectile dysfunction, and other age- and obesity-related problems.

Dr. Furman wants readers to realize that poor health during one's "golden years" is not inevitable. It can and should be avoided at all cost. And with his expert advice, readers can live long, healthy, vibrant lives, enjoying time with friends and family instead of wasting it in doctors' offices and hospitals.
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Recently, I made a decision that I needed to change my life. I've had high cholesterol for as long as I can remember and I've been overweight for nearly as long. So, when this book came up for review, I jumped at the chance. I'm so glad that I did..while it took me a little while to get through (it gives you a lot to think about), I learned a lot too. For years, I've heard that I need to lower one type of cholesterol and raise another, but nobody told me how to do that. This book does. Filled with a ton of information and written in a way that anyone can understand it, I found myself highlighting entire passages and I even have a post it sticking out at one part to remind me where to find a certain chart. If you have weight, cholesterol or heart problems, this book could be a major help to you. Even if you're in perfect health, this book could make you look at  certain things differently. As for me, this one is going into my bedside table so I can pull it out whenever I have a question.



I received a copy of this book for the purpose of this review.  All thoughts, comments and opinions are my own.
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Tomorrow is the day where I find out if I'm officially crazy. I've said it before and I guess I'm going to say it again...I don't know which idea is scarier..the one where he looks at me and says there's nothing wrong with you or the one where he looks at me and says yeah, you were right. You have entire subscriptions to issues. I've spent so many years fighting this and I'm so tired. I'm so dang tired and scared.

I'm tired of the days where I wake up and my brain just doesn't work right. It's so hard to explain. It's like I'm in a room and one minute, it's open and light and airy. The next minute, it's filled with dense fog and suddenly there are walls that I can't see and I keep smacking into them. If I try to push past it, I get terrible headaches.

I'm tired of the days where everything seems to be okay but then suddenly I'm caught up in this whirlwind of fear and anxiety and all I can do is sit and rock while I cry, whispering please can't someone help me? Those are the days where I feel so incredibly alone. I feel as if nobody on the planet has the time to just sit and spend a bit of time talking to me. Those are the days when I want to throw myself at the feet of some and beg them to just hug me and tell me that it's going to be okay because okay is the last thing that I can see.

I'm even tired of the up days. The up days where everything is remarkably clear and I can focus and my brain works at super sonic speeds and I get a thousand things done. I'm happy and cheerful and optimistic and nothing can bring me down. They also leave me exhausted, both mentally and physically. Plus, I can't maintain those levels and when I crash, I crash hard.

I'm tired of living life on this rollercoaster where there are times when I don't feel as if I have any control. I'm tired of the "side effects" of living a life this way. I need answers and tomorrow, I will get answers. It's been close to two weeks since I sat in that room and took a battery of tests. Before I took the tests, the psychologist told me that he thinks part of my problem is that I'm too smart and that I'm not using my brain to its potential so it gets bored and bored brains are bad things. He wasn't surprised that I found myself doing editing since it requires a high level of intelligence and attention to detail. Then, I took the tests and I left feeling like an idiot. It's not surprising. The tests are meant to challenge your brain and mine hasn't been properly challenged in a long time. It's like using muscles that haven't been used in years..they moan and groan and struggle.

Tomorrow, I get answers and I'm scared. Deep down I know that it will all be okay but on those upper levels, I'm scared and I just want someone to hug me, to hold me and to tell me that it's all going to be okay.




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It's Thursday and you know what that means! It's time for me! Wow, that sounded egotistical, didn't it? Maybe I should have said it's time for us to do something good for us! Does that sound nicer? If not, well shoot, y'all know what I mean. It's time for all of us to do something nice for ourselves. We need to take care of ourselves because if we don't, we're no good for anyone else.

Today, I'm doing something a little bit different. I'm giving myself a reality check. As some of you may have read over at Welcoming Weight Loss, I've joined this fantastic group called the Mamavation Sistahood. They are some of the most incredible, generous and loving women you will ever meet.

Now, what you may not know is that a few times a year, they select women to become Mamavation Mamas. This is a huge thing! These ladies take trying to lose weight to a whole new level. A few people were encouraging me to apply but honestly, I'm just not ready for that. I was really worried that I was disappointing people by saying no or that maybe they thought I was making excuses. The truth is I'm not ready. This morning, one of their most fabulous mama's, Shelley and I were talking and she said what I'd been saying. She said yeah, you're not ready. This brought some serious mixed feelings. On one hand, I was almost relieved that someone else saw what I was saying. On the other hand it was a big time reality check. Let me explain why.

For a very long time, I had the worse self esteem a woman could have. In fact, I called it negative self esteem because everything I thought about myself was negative. For the past few years, I've been working hard at getting past that. One of the ways I was doing that was by telling myself that I was ok just the way I am. Now, that didn't just mean personality, it meant physically. This morning, suddenly the reality was right in front of my face. I'm not ok just how I am. I'm not. I am a beautiful person but what I have done to my body is not beautiful. It's dangerous. It's scary and it needs to change.

So, what am I doing for me today? I'm exploring this reality check. I'm working on some "assignments" to help me explore how I got to nearly 300 pounds. I'm going to write in my paper journal. Then, I'm going to spend a fun afternoon/evening with my boys. It's Family Reading Night at their school and we're going to go and have a fantastic time!

What are you going to do for you today? Are you going to find time to journal? Paint your nails a delicious new color? Curl up with a favorite movie? Spend some time moving that body to get your sweat on? Make sure you come back and let me know!



*** This post has been copied over to Welcoming Weight Loss ***
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It's Friday and what a week it's been! I've been sick all week. Heck, I've been sick for two weeks. I finally gave in and got some cough medicine and I think it's clearing up! My poor lungs just needed a chance to not cough so that they could start healing. Thank goodness! On top of that, the boys had Monday off (due to Mid-Winter break. I still want to know where that was when I was in school!) and then had 2 snowdays this week. Yes, 2. The first one I couldn't get out to go watch them but I was in sooo much pain from my earlier in the week workout, I got zippo accomplished. Then yesterday, I got up way early and went in and spent the day with them.

So, what does all of this mean? I got absolutely zero accomplished this week. My house still is a disaster zone (like call out the national guard level) and I still have a million and one things on my to do list. I bet you're wondering what this means for Finish It Friday, right?

Well, even if you're not, I'm going to tell you. You ought to know that about me by now. It means nothing more on my to do list will be accomplished today. You see, it's the every other Friday Friday. That means I go get the boys, we go grocery shopping, come home, drag it all into the house, make dinner, eat dinner, maybe watch a movie while eating dinner and then it's bedtime for them and because I'm still a little sick, I collapse on the couch with some water and tv. Holy cow, was that a long sentence or what?

I will be finishing something though. I'm going to finish my bad attitude. All week, I've been sick and once I gave into it, I also gave into the blah/meh feeling that comes along with it. I pretended like it didn't matter what I ate, didn't matter that I couldn't really workout and basically gave into really bad habits. So, enough of that. It ends today. I know it's not going to be easy because well if it were, wouldn't more of us be making huge changes in our lives? Sure we would! It needs to happen though. The mehness needs to go byebye and the back on track (because soon it will be back to the scale) needs to come through.

So that's what I'm doing. What about all of you? Be sure you leave a comment with a link to your Finish It Friday post. I know you won't regret it! Plus, it means I can come by and give you some comment love and support!



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This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of wellnessdaily.com. All opinions are 100% mine.

I keep telling myself that I need to start eating better and taking better care of myself. I think I've probably used every excuse as to why I haven't done it. It's no fun cooking healthy just for myself. It's so much easier to eat and prepare the junk. I'll start doing my yoga dvd once I have this room clean or that room clean. I have this great new water bottle and I'm still not drinking enough water. I think what I really need is an accountability partner in this. My other big problem is that sometimes there is so much confusing information out there.

Enter www.wellnessdaily.com. It is this great site with tons of information on it. I've barely started to explore it and I'm planning on registering and checking further into it. Just by glancing at their front page, I saw articles on: eating right, losing weight, staying fit and finding life balance. They also have healthy recipes and videos.

I think I'm going to register there. The first 25,000 people to register will receive a $5 coupon towards Jennie-O products. Plus, if you register you can enter the Twitter contest for a chance to win a WellnessDaily.com prize package which include coupons for a year-long supply of Jennie-O Turkey Store product and a one-year gym membership, valued at $1,250. You just have to Tweet: “Enter to win $ towards a gym membership & JENNIE-O turkey products. Just follow @wellness_daily & RT this! http://bit.ly/tbd123.&quot (The Twitter promotion ends March 10th so don't procrastinate!)