When the chance to create a holiday happened, the sheep were first in line to add January 20^th as Cheese Lover’s Day. They loved cheese and tried to have some with every meal. The other toys could tell you that whenever the sheep were in charge of food for an event, there was always cheese. They didn’t know the types of cheese, but the sheep always chose delicious ones for everyone to enjoy.

On January 20^th, the sheep laid out all different types of cheese on their outdoor tables. There were soft cheeses like Brie, ricotta, cream cheese, and even cottage cheese. There were hard cheeses like cheddar, parmesan, and Swiss. Each of the cheeses was labeled with its name and had a small plate of crackers next to it.

As each of the toys stopped by that day, they tried different types of cheeses, and the sheep told them about each one.

“Brie is from France. It tastes great on crackers or even on sandwiches,” Baa told Teddy when he stopped by.

“Cheddar cheese comes from England and is white there. Here, in the United States, it’s yellow,” said Black Sheep.

“I bet you can’t guess where Swiss cheese comes from,” said Baaa to Sylver when he took a nibble of the holey cheese. “Umm…Switzerland?” answered Sylver. “You’re right!” the three sheep yelled, making Sylver jump and almost drop his cheese. He scrambled and managed to catch it before popping it into his mouth.

He was about to head back to the ocean life cubby when he noticed a tv set up next to the tables. “What’s this?” he asked. “Oh that…that’s something that we thought the toys might enjoy. It’s a game called Cheese Game.”

Sylver walked closer to the screen and noticed that controllers had been hooked up. “Can I try it out?”

“Of course you can. That’s why we set it up!” said Baa while his brothers walked back to the tables to put out new pieces of cheese. “It’s one player or I’d play with you. Try it out and if you would like a snack, come back over for some more cheese. Perhaps some cheddar this time or cream cheese.” Baa smiled and walked away.

Sylver picked up a controller and hit start. He chuckled when he saw that he was playing as a piece of cheese that looked a lot like the piece that he had just eaten. The game started easily enough. He was a piece of cheese that had to avoid everything because everything wanted to eat him. He beat a few levels and when he paused for a moment, he noticed that he had drawn quite the crowd around him. Quite a few of his friends were there supporting him and cheering him on.

He took a deep breath and unpaused the game. It was time for the final level. With his friends watching, he dodged left, and he dodged right. There were rocks falling from the sky and a miner trying to catch him. He kept dodging and running. The rocks were falling faster now and the more intense the game got, the quieter his friends got. There were only thirty seconds left. Could he beat the game?

He dodged to the left again. A rock barely missed him, and his friends held their breath. He was so close. Another dodge to the right and around a pair of rocks that came raining down. The miner was right there, but he managed to veer around him. Ten seconds left. Suddenly the rocks were coming down faster, but with each rock that rained down, he dodged around it. Five seconds left and the miner was right on this tail. He flipped around and ran around the miner. Time was up and he won! He let out the breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and grinning, turned around to hug his cheering friends.

“You did it! On your first try you beat that game!”

“Oh my gosh, that was awesome!”

“Thanks, guys! We should celebrate with some cheese!”

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Every day is pretty much the same. I wake up in the morning, eat some breakfast, play with my friend Sadie, eat some dinner and go to bed. The only thing that sometimes changes is what games Sadie and I play. We love to play pirates. It’s fun to swish a sword around and say “argh”. It’s also fun to play tag. Sometimes we play that if Rorschach comes over to visit. He lives in an apartment nearby but likes to come out and hang out with all of us by the school.

Today seems different though. I woke up, ate breakfast, and played with Sadie, but when I went to eat dinner, it wasn’t sitting out like it usually is. Sadie and I looked and looked, but we couldn’t find it. It was so weird! Then, after Sadie had given up and gone to lay down, I decided to look one more time. I knew I smelled it, but I just couldn’t see it. Then, I rounded the corner of a bush and there it was! I thought about going to get Sadie, but she was probably asleep, so I decided to have dinner and then go and let her know where it was.

Except, when I walked up to the bowl, something strange happened. First, I heard a snap noise and then something came down behind me. I turned around quickly, but instead of the bush, I saw a wall. It was so weird, guys. I could see the bush through the spaces between the bars, but no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get past it. I was stuck!

Then, a hand reached in and took away the food bowl. I thought for sure that they were going to let me out, but nope! They removed the bowl and then walked away. A few minutes later, they came back and suddenly I was floating. I wondered if this is what a leaf felt like when the wind picked it up and carried it.

I wasn’t scared. I know I should have been, but I wasn’t. I was more curious. I was wondering what was happening, who was carrying me, and where we were going. I didn’t have very long to wonder because it seemed like I had just been picked up when whoever it was set me down again. I peeked through the crate’s door and there was my friend, Kim. She smiled at me and told me that she would feed me again as soon as we got to where we were going.

I nodded and she closed the door to the car. Oooh, I forgot to tell you, she put the crate on the backseat of her car. Then, we were off! I couldn’t really see where we were going, but from the way that I swayed, I could tell that we took a few turns. I’d sway to the left, sway to the right, and then finally I just curled up before I fell over. The ride must have been pretty relaxing because I woke up when the car stopped.

The door opened and within moments after that, another door opened, and we walked into a well-lit laundry room. The crate door was opened, and Kim invited me to come out. “Sorry to scare you, Mittens, but I needed a safe way to bring you here.”

“Here? Where is here?” I meowed.

“I’m hoping that you’ll like it here and decide to live here from now on. I promise that you’ll be well taken care of. You’ll have delicious food, water, and lots of toys.”

I blinked up at her. Home? I was in a home? I had dreamed about living in a home, but I didn’t think that it would ever happen. I decided right there that I would give this home a try. I noticed that Kim seemed nervous, so I smiled up at her and gave her a hug.

That night, I had a cozy bed made of blankets to sleep in. Kim fed me the best food I had ever tasted. It looked and smelled just like the food that I ate all the time, but somehow it tasted better. There was always fresh water whenever I looked. It never had dirt or leaves in it. It was getting late, so I decided to get some sleep before I checked out these toys that she had mentioned. I had never really had anything other than sticks and my imagination for toys before.

The next morning, I woke up early and explored the house. It seemed nice, but it was really quiet. I was used to the noise of being outside and other cats being around me. That reminded me…what about Sadie? Was she okay? Did she know where I was? I had to talk to Kim immediately so I jumped up on the bed where she was and started nudging her with my paw.

“Well, good morning, Mittens. What can I do for you?”

“What about Sadie? She’s my best friend. Does she know what happened?”

“Sadie knows. I made sure that she knew about it. I even asked her if she wanted to come along too, but she said she’s an outdoor adventuring cat, but that she knows this is your dream. I hope she was right. I’d really like for you to stay.”

I nodded, thinking about my best friend. It would be just like her to want this for me while she followed a different adventure. I hoped that she had an amazing adventure and that I would hear about it.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll hear from her. She said she’d send you postcards and letters.”

I smiled and hopped back down off the bed. It was time for breakfast, and I was ready to eat and then check out those toys. Guess what, guys! Toys are awesome! Kim had bought me balls and things to chase and even a great big tower for me to climb.

It took me a few days of thinking about it, but, in the end, I decided to stay with Kim and to have a home of my own. I even convinced her to get a kitten since I missed Sadie. I thought the best thing to do was to give another kitten a home so that neither of us would be alone. After all, I had plenty of toys to share. 

--------

A long time ago, I used to live with a lot of other cats in a place they called “the schoolyard.” It just never really felt like the place for me though. Don’t get me wrong. I really loved the other cats that lived there. My best friend’s name was Mittens. She was so much fun. We used to hang out together and play all sorts of games together. One of my favorite games was to pretend that we were swashbuckling pirates. We’d talk in fake pirate voices and swing our sticks around, pretending that they were swords.

Then, one day, someone took Mittens to live somewhere else. I was so sad to see her leave, but happy that she’d always have a warm bed to sleep in and yummy food whenever she wanted it. Living in a nice, warm house was Mittens’ dream and it was coming true.

After she left, I sulked around. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t even come out when the man came who fed us. After a while, everyone thought that I had left. Then, one day, I was thinking about how Mittens’ dream came true, and I decided that it was time to help make my own dream come true. I would become a real life pirate.  I would find my own ship and I would sail the seas.

Finding a ship shouldn’t be hard. I lived in Florida which is surrounded by a lot of water. There had to be boats somewhere. The next morning, I packed up my few things and headed out towards the closest water that I knew of. When I got there, I followed a man who looked like he might be a sailor. I was right! He led me right to the biggest boats that I had ever seen.

I walked up the dock. The further I walked, the bigger the boats became. Some of them were big enough to have entire cities on them! I wasn’t interested in a boat that big. I wanted a smaller boat, one where I wouldn’t get lost every time I tried my paw at swashbuckling.

I decided that I had better head back the way that I had come. Sure enough, the boats kept getting smaller, but they were all pretty big. I was about to give up by the time that I got to the end of the dock. All of the ships were just too big for this pirate cat. Then, right there, at the very end of the dock was the perfect pirate ship! As I stood there watching, they even lowered a gangplank. This was the ship for me.

Keeping my eyes on the gangplank, I slowly approached the boat. This was the part that I wasn’t sure about. I couldn’t just take over their ship. That would be like the bad pirates that I had heard about. I didn’t want to be one of those. I wanted to be the kind that swished swords as they sang sea shanties. That kind didn’t seem like they would just take over a ship. I guessed it was time to talk to the captain.

I had perfect timing. As soon as I got to the end of the gangplank, the captain appeared at the top. He was a tall man with a big, bushy beard that was as white as the ocean spray. His face looked like it had been in the sun for days, but he had a twinkle in his eyes that gave me the confidence to walk up the gangplank towards him.

When I reached the top, he smiled down at me while I saluted him.

“Why are you saluting me?” he asked.

“You’re the captain of this fine ship, aren’t you?”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Then you deserve the respect of a simple salute.”

Sadie could have sworn that the man blushed beneath his rugged tan.

“Well then, Miss, what can I do for you?”

“I would like to officially join your crew as a pirate. I will swab the decks, swashbuckle, sing sea shanties, and wear a fancy hat. I would prefer not to wear an eyepatch though. Those are hard to see through.”

“Have you ever been to sea? It can be a rough life.”

“I have not, but my life up until now hasn’t been easy.”

Sadie told the captain about her life in the schoolyard and how her friend, Mittens, had followed her dreams and now it was time for her to do the same. The captain nodded often, listening to her tale.

“That does sound rough. Well, Miss…I’m sorry, what is your name?”

“Sadie, sir.”

The captain smiled. “Well, Miss Sadie, if you’re sure you want to do this, we would be happy to have you. Come aboard.”

Sadie smiled and picked up her bag. She took one last look around and then marched up the gangplank, ready to start her life as a pirate. 

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As some of you may know, my oldest turned 21 this week. I cannot believe that it's possible, but here we are! To celebrate such a momentous occasion in my family, I wanted to share one of the stories from my upcoming book, Apo's Army. The plan is to bring the book to Kickstarter in March, but more on that later. Let's get to the story! 

Norduck's Adventure

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K


*This has been cross posted to Straight Sex Talk. Please note that it is an adult site, not meant for children or those who can't handle that topic.


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It was just after midnight on Wednesday morning..or was it Tuesday night? Did it really matter? What matters is the post. The post that started everything all over again. The post that had the internet humming with rumors and theories. The post..the post that one man made to one woman that simply said I love you Katrina.

They thought they had stopped the rumors, but with those four little words, they all started up again. This time, they were even more intense. It went beyond the rumors that they were in love, that she was moving to be with him. As the days went on, they grew more wild. There were the rumors that they were a couple, that they were engaged, that she carried his con child, that their appearance at geek prom together was some sort of sign...

Things just got worse when new appliances started showing up at his house. Surely this was the sign that everyone had been waiting for. Everyone knew that men never bought appliances. This must mean that a woman was coming to live there soon and who else could it be but the mother of his con child?

The internet waited, watching as day after day went by. They carefully scrutinized each and every one of their Facebook posts, talking in secret about what was so clearly going on. If she posted that she wasn't feeling good, they nodded their heads in sage understanding. It must be morning sickness. Having a con baby was a lot like catching the con crud, they murmured among themselves.

If he posted anything about being sad, they whispered how must he must be missing her and it was only a matter of time now. He obviously would be concerned with the health of her and the child. If there were posts of joy and happiness, it was clear that things were going well and the announcements would be made any day now...

He had said he loved her and she loved him. It was only a matter of time now, they told in their secret groups and messages. They placed bets upon which day the child would be born and the announcement of their marriage made. Together, they planned out the lives of two people..who at the end of the day, merely loved each other.



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Smiling, he took her by the hand and led her back into the very room they had shared the night before. He had taken the time to place small candles and flowers all around. He led her to the bed and only left her for a moment while he closed the curtains and lit the candles. Then, taking her into his arms, he held her while he told her all the things that he knew she wanted to hear. He told her that he was a fool for ever letting her drive away. He told her that he had wanted to be with her for years. Caught up in his words, she missed the look in his eyes as he filled her head with words of love and longing.

She never spoke a word. She pressed against him, lost in her love for him.  She believed every word coming from those gorgeous lips. Now that he had confessed his love for her, all the pain was washed away and she gave herself to him completely. She poured herself into their kisses as he began nibbling on her lips. His hands glided over her body and she whimpered in delight. he urged her to close her eyes as he guided her back on the bed. He wanted her fully steeped in the feelings he was creating in her. She never noticed his one hand sliding under the pillow. She never saw what he had hidden under there. She only felt the searing pain as the scalpel drove deep into her chest.

It cut deep and it cut sure. Her eyes were open now in terror as he sliced through her delicate skin. With one hand, he muffled her screams. With the other, he wielded the blade as if it were a part of him. Quick and sure, it cut and in mere moments, her screams were reduced to silence as her body went into shock.

He smiled down into her eyes as he reached over and pulled a small cooler towards him. He has left it in plain sight knowing she would assume it held wine or some other delight to celebrate their love with. He chuckled to himself. "How foolish women are," he thought. Then, reaching in, he cut her still beating heart from the very chest that he has laid against the night before.  Gently, as if it were made of gold, he placed it inside the waiting cooler before turning again to the woman on the bed.

In some ways, this was his favorite part. he prided himself in his ability to set a scene. If she had noticed how he had changed the sheets to deep red, he would never know but he delighted now in how they looked against the pale white of her skin. Reaching down, he arranged them just so over her body.  If anyone came in, they would simply think she was peacefully sleeping. That was until they noticed the blood red rose that he had placed in her hands after closing lids over her big brown eyes.

Leaning over again, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Then, with one last check to be sure all was right, he gathered his things. At the door, he slipped the do not disturb tag over the knob and looked back one last time. He had never done that before but he had almost loved this one. Almost.

He tossed his gear into his car, texted someone to let them know the job was done and smiled at himself in the rear view mirror. Already, he has closed himself off from what he had just done and was mentally slipping into the role he would play onstage that night; that of a madman.


" I am but mad north-north-west:  when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw. " ~William Shakespeare
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She watched him across the table, wondering if he realized how his words affected her. As his friend, she smiled and nodded while the woman inside of her ached to show him just how much she understood. She had loved him for years. She loved him in a way that was as foreign as the language she longed to whisper in his ear. His eyes held her captive. It had always been the eyes. To just glance at him, he was just another good looking guy. That is unless you stared into those eyes. The eyes could hold you captive and tell you everything you needed to know. His eyes had a way of peeling back all of the layers and laying you open before you even realized it had happened. She didn’t look right at him as she spoke. Instead, she looked at the lettering on his hat. He wore it down low so it probably appeared as if she was looking directly at him. He knew how to read her as easily as the cookbook she had surprised him with the night before. She wasn’t ready though. She wasn’t ready to tell him.

Instead, she talked around it. She told him that she understood what he meant. She told him that as a woman who was interested in him, she hoped that he kept himself open to possibilities. He seemed startled when she mentioned his vulnerability. Yes, she knew him too. Time may have separated them for too long, but she still knew the man sitting in front of her. She knew the power he could wield and the vulnerable man that not many had taken the time to see. She also knew that if he asked her what she was thinking, she would be compelled to tell him.

He had that kind of power over her. She couldn’t keep anything from him if he asked. Briefly, she wondered if he’d noticed that the night before but she quickly pulled her mind back from thinking on that. She knew if she started thinking about the night before, it would read plainly on her face. She would spend hours later thinking about it but for now, she needed to stay focused on the man in front of her. The truth is, she didn’t know how she would respond if he asked her what she was thinking. What was in her wasn’t tangible. It wasn’t something easily put into words. If he had pressed her, the only words would have been let me love you. Let me love you for the time that we have. Let me show you what it is to be truly and deeply loved. Let me teach you how it is when someone else puts your needs above their own desires. Let me show you romance and passion. Let me be that girl, if only for a little while. He didn’t ask though and so she kept the words locked deep inside her.

Instead, she reached over, her fingers running over his hand as they sat and talked. The movement was naturally hers. She could no more stop herself from touching him than she could stop the time that was rapidly disappearing. He didn’t stop her. He had made no movement to touch her but he never stopped her from reaching out to touch him. Perhaps he knew that she needed that contact with him. Perhaps he just enjoyed the feeling of her soft skin against his. Perhaps it was both. She didn’t know but she was thankful that he allowed it to happen. He had always been her protector and even now, he instinctively took care of her. She knew that. There were some things that time just could not change and the connection that they shared was one of those. Coming together again had been like two pieces of a whole finding themselves again. They just fit.

Sighing inwardly, she again looked across the table to see him watching her. She often found him doing that and she wondered why. She often wondered what he was thinking when he would do that but when she asked, he always told her nothing. It confused her. How could someone stare at you so intently and yet not be thinking something? Perhaps he wasn’t staring at her but through her. That might explain it and yet, she never felt as if he wasn’t right there with her. In fact, when they were together, she often felt as if they were the only two people in the world. She watched him glance yet again at the time and inwardly she cringed. Their time together was always too short and yet this time, she somehow knew, without a doubt, that there would be a next time. Somehow, she would convince him to find more time for them to spend together. She had wanted to stay with him today, to just be a part of his every day world but he had told her that it just wasn’t possible. She understood but there was still that desire inside of her. She wanted to learn more about his world, about the sections that time and distance had kept from her.

Instead, she tucked her hand into his as they left the restaurant, smiling when he entwined his fingers with hers. It was those little movements that warned her heart that maybe he wasn’t adverse to possibilities. Then again, she thought to herself, maybe he holds hands with all of the women in his life. Again, a question she would be terrified to speak out loud. These were the things that were special to her and if she found out that they weren’t special to them, then it would hurt beyond words. So, she chose to believe that these were the moments that showed his love for her. She smiled and laughed with him as they walked to the car. She used her mouth to try to give him a taste of what was inside of her. If he felt it, she didn’t know but she had put it out into the universe for it to play with.

As he walked away, she slid into her car, never taking her eyes off of him until he moved out of sight. Inwardly, she wished for him to turn around just one more time so that she could see his face again. Outwardly, she shook her head, smiling as she realized that he had already put her into the box in his head and shut the lid. He had his phone out and was moving on with his day. She waited there, her head resting on the steering wheel as the gps booted and connected. She waited and watched for his car to drive away, a little stab of pain zipping through her as she watched him drive away without even glancing back to see if she’d gone.

Putting the car into gear, she waited until she knew he would be too far away for her to see. Then, wiping a single tear from her cheek, she pulled out onto the road and then onto the freeway that would take her home.
Flipping on the radio, she laughed at the song that came on. Hip to My Heart summed things up so well, she thought to herself as she sang along, making her way through traffic. Just as she made her way onto the next freeway, her phone buzzed. She almost missed it. She’d put the phone onto vibrate so it wouldn’t disrupt earlier and typical her, she had forgotten to switch it back to the obnoxious song it played when someone was calling her. Surprised, she glanced over at the display. With her mind on the weekend, she didn’t feel like talking to many people at that point. She was prepared to ignore the call and let her voicemail catch it. Instead, she flipped open her phone because this was a call that she had never expected.

It was him. She was almost afraid to press the answer button for fear something had happened to him. She had to know though so she pressed it. Relief poured through her as she heard his voice. He was ok. Shaking her head and laughing to herself, she nearly missed the next words out of his mouth. In fact, she actually asked him to repeat them. He wanted to know where she was and could she turn around and come back. He didn’t have to ask a third time. She took the next exit and turned around to go back to where he had left her. Pulling into the same spot she had vacated not 30 minutes before, she didn’t know what to expect. Why had he called her back here? Taking a deep breath, she looked up to see him standing on the sidewalk at the front of her van. Slowly, she opened the door and stepped out. She was afraid to look at him. Fear of the unknown and her own insecurities had wrapped themselves around her. She didn’t look up until she felt his finger on her chin, raising her eyes to look at him. Then, without a single word, he backed her up against the side of the van. He lowered his mouth to hers, taking it as if it already belonged to him. Whimpering, she wrapped her arms around him, kissing him back with everything that was inside of her. Slowly, reluctantly he broke the kiss and showed her the key to the hotel she had just checked out of. “Room 208, right?” he whispered in her ear as he took her hand. Nodding, she silently followed him across the parking lot and into the room.



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