Christmas Dreams

When I was a little girl, I fell in love with the book The Story of Holly and Ivy. It's about a little girl who lives in an orphanage and when all of the other kids go off to visit families for Christmas, she says she's going to visit her grandmother. By the end of the story, she's gotten the best present ever, a new family. I used to dream that I was that little girl. Not because I wanted a new family, but because in the end, all of her dreams came true.

As an adult, I have new dreams. I have dreams for my own life and now dreams for my boys. I want them to grow up to be good men. I want them to find what makes them happy and to go for it. I think that's my biggest hope and dream for them. I want them to be happy. I know that true happiness comes from loving the person that you are and it's my hope, that as their mom, I can teach them how to do that.

As Christmas approaches, more and more I think about what it is that I can give to them. Yes, they'll have presents under the tree. They'll have the fun of tearing open packages and seeing what Santa (and mom) has brought them. I'll get the joy in watching their faces. There's something wonderful about watching a child open a present, knowing that it was picked out just for them. More than that though, I'll give them experiences.

Like many families, we have our own traditions. Every year, the boys get new pajamas on Christmas Eve. Every year, I wrap them and let them open them, even though they know what's inside. This year, I waited with tons of other people for the midnight sale at Walmart to begin. It was important to me that I be able to continue a tradition that they said they wanted to do still.

After they open their pajamas and get into them, we'll all cuddle up on the couch and read The Night Before Christmas together. I started reading it to them when they were tiny and now they read it to me. We'll put out milk and cookies for Santa. The boys have let me know that they think Santa wants chocolate milk and homemade cookies this year. Every year, I ask them what they think he wants and every year it changes a little bit. One year the poor man had to drink both egg nog and chocolate milk. After that, he let us know one glass of drink is enough to go with his cookies.

Do my boys still believe in Santa? I don't really know and you know what? It doesn't really matter. It's all part of the fun we share together each year. I'm sure in a couple of years I'll know for sure but I don't think that will stop us. I remember the first year I didn't get a stocking filled with treats. Even though I "knew" Santa wasn't real, it made me sad. So, we'll do stockings here until the boys let me know they don't want me to anymore.

As for me, I still believe in Santa and I hope that all of you do too. Imagine if we took the Christmas Spirit that he embodies and applied it year round. This world would be a much better place.