Name one thing that you have lied to yourself about. Why did you do this?

Wow, this is a tough one this week. The first thing that pops to mind is a bit tough to write about, but since it's come up twice today, maybe I'm supposed to share it with all of you.

When I was 29, my ex-husband and I divorced after nearly ten years of marriage. After the divorce, I was broken. I had no idea of self-worth or even identity. During that time, I met a man online and for my 30th birthday, we agreed that I'd fly from Michigan to New York to see him. Everything that could go wrong with that trip did and I should have turned around and gone home, but I believed this man cared about me and I really didn't want to spend my birthday being ignored and alone. I kept telling myself that I just had to get there and everything would be alright.

I was wrong. By the time that I got there, I was exhausted. The airline didn't have my bag so I had nothing other than the cute, dressy outfit that I had worn.  I'll spare you all of the details, but that night was far from fine and I woke up the next morning, bruised and bleeding. Here's where lie #2 comes into play. I was so confused by what had happened. Since we were entering into a new relationship, I wondered if I'd given off some sort of mixed signal. He did his best to convince me that everything was fine and that nothing bad had happened. I was there, I was lost and confused, I believed him. I had nowhere to go and calling someone to come get me never crossed my mind. I didn't believe anyone would come if I did call...and I didn't know anyone else in that area. That night, there was an attempt at it happening again, but when I completely disassociated, it wasn't fun for him, so he stopped. The next day I flew home, confused by what had happened, hurting, and yet somehow looking forward to seeing him again. He was that good at manipulation.

Why did I lie to myself? Because I believed I was unworthy of love, affection, and any kind of positive attention. Part of me believed that any attention was better than no attention. I'm not that girl anymore. I have boundaries. I believe in me. I'm proud of me. That makes a big difference.

I hope you believe in you.






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Ingredients:
1 pound lean ground beef, browned and drained
1 (28-ounce) jar prepared pasta sauce
25-30 frozen cheese or meat ravioli
2 cups Italian blend shredded cheese
2 tablespoons warm water

Directions:
After browning the meat in a skillet, drain well and add the pasta sauce (save the jar!) to the meat in your sauté pan. Stir to combine.

Scoop a large spoonful of meat sauce and spread into the bottom of an empty slow cooker. Add a layer of frozen ravioli. Then add another layer of meat sauce. Continue layering until you run out of ravioli and sauce. Sprinkle cheese evenly all over the top.

Put 2 tablespoons of water into the empty pasta sauce jar, and shake. Pour this water over the top of your "lasagna."

Cover and cook on low for 6-7 hours, or on high for about 4. Your lasagna is done when the pasta on the ravioli is tender and the filling is heated through.

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In the land of dolls, there is magic.
In the land of humans, there is war.
Everywhere there is pain.
But together there is hope.

Karolina is a living doll whose king and queen have been overthrown. But when a strange wind spirits her away from the Land of the Dolls, she finds herself in Krakow, Poland, in the company of the Dollmaker, a man with an unusual power and a marked past.

The Dollmaker has learned to keep to himself, but Karolina's courageous and compassionate manner lead him to smile and to even befriend a violin-playing father and his daughter--that is, once the Dollmaker gets over the shock of realizing a doll is speaking to him.

But their newfound happiness is dashed when Nazi soldiers descend upon Poland. Karolina and the Dollmaker quickly realize that their Jewish friends are in grave danger, and they are determined to help save them, no matter what the risks.

~~~

The Good:
I absolutely fell in love with the characters. Each one is so well done that they become real people (and dolls) before your eyes as you read and by the time you reach the end of the book, it feels as if they're friends. Then, there's the story itself. This talented author created a world that I could easily imagine in my mind. I was pulled in and when the end of the book came, the reality of my bedroom was a bit startling.

The Bad:
Only that nobody warned me that I'd need tissues before the book came to its end.

The Summary:
This could easily be one of my favorite books that I've read this year and I've read some really good ones. The story will draw you in, the characters will become friends, and by the time you reach the end, you'll be praying for more of little Karolina. In fact, I would love to see a novella all about what happens at the end of the book. No spoilers here!





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Come up with a mathematical formula to express something you know/believe.

Me + My Children + Time = Happy Me

Me + The Man + Time = Happy Me

Me + Hard Work + Dedication = Success

Hard Work + Money = Progress in certain things

Me + Good Book + Cozy Blanket = Downtime

I thought this one might be tough, but really it's all about taking everything down to its base. I think I could probably do this for half the day and have a bit of fun with it, but I'd much rather see your formulas.







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Ingredients:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 yellow onion, sliced
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
3 pounds beef roast
4 garlic cloves (whole is fine, or you can chop them)
1 (14-ounce) can fire-roasted crushed tomatoes
1 cup unsweetened pomegranate juice
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 cup golden raisins

Directions:

Use at least a 6-quart slow cooker. Swirl the olive oil into the bottom of the stoneware. Add the onion. Rub the spices on all sides of meat and add to the crockpot with the garlic, the whole can of tomatoes, pomegranate juice, vinegar, and syrup. Sprinkle the raisins on top.

Cover and cook on low for 8 hours, or on high for about 5. The meat is done when it has reached desired tenderness. Serve with mashed potatoes and drizzle with the sauce.

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This is another book in the Cherry Ames series. In this case she's gotten a job at a girl's boarding school which is basically down on its luck. There aren't many students, and most of Cherry's nursing problems are fairly minor. There is a mystery involving one of the girls, though, where she wants to find a formula for a perfume made by an ancestor of hers.

~~~~

I'm still not reading as much as I would like but I couldn't resist this when I spotted it sitting on my night stand. I read this series when I was a kid and fell in love with them. In fact, they're my bucket list book series. I only own three of them so far, but I'm always looking in thrift stores and at garage sales for more. That said, this is the one that always stuck with me...

The Good - 
This is a light, quick read akin to Nancy Drew. Cherry is a regular girl who struggles with a bit of insecurity, but who is always there for her patients and who has a quick mind.

The Bad -
These were written during a time period when nurses were often seen to be below doctors and not as important. Certain things like this are apparent within the book.

The Summary - 
This is one of my favorite books of all time. I suspect that now that I own it, I will read it over and over again. If you're able to keep in mind the time period that it was written versus getting offended, this is a great series no matter the age of the reader.






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You are the wind's interpreter. What is it saying?

Keep going. Just keep going. It's tough, but you're tougher. Stand in front of me and I'll give you the nudge that you need. Don't fight it, just go with it. You can do this. Life won't defeat you. I'm on your side and will help push you when you need it.

Thank you, wind. Thank you for hearing my cries and answering. It is hard right now, but I can do this and when I feel that I can't, I'll stand outside and feel you whip through my hair, lifting me. I'm not alone even when I feel like it.

What does the wind say to you?







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